Story #4 “Emotions”

The threat always exists, ever present. The question in the back of your head. Will it come today, or tomorrow, will I evade it for my lifetime? Will I know someone today that will have to see it through, or will everyone that I know and love be able to escape it? Will my existence and the memory of me be wiped clear of this earth before it ever happens? I know people around the world are faced with the reality of it now, or in very recent vivid memory, but will I ever be? Is it rude of me to even wonder that? The underlying truth of this wonder is my pleading with the universe to keep me safe from any threat. That is rude! Why me, why now, why is always what people are faced with in these events, but my plea to the universe begs the question…why not me?! I am no better than those who have overcome. I am no more just. They are no more deserving or prepared than I. Would it be better to just have the experience and have it be over? Would it even actually be over after it’s finished? …there is an aftermath to everything. There could be an unforeseen event that is secondary to what I fear most. To all that we have done, all that we have accomplished, she will still have her say in the end. “Her say” – is that really what it is, does she have a thoughtful process to this? No! Of course not. We want to give it power, to give it reason, but there is none. There is no thoughtful process, yet there is a perfect process. There is time and there are predictions. We are able to have a clearer understanding. We can answer the “Why this?” and the “Why now?,” and it is simply the answers to those two questions that will answer the “Why me?”